Friday, December 26, 2014

Reflections on relationships

I went for a walk at Centennial Park today to clear my mind after hearing about the things I talked about in my previous entry. As I strolled along the perimeter pathway I thought about how lovely the park was and how lucky we were to live in a place like Sydney. I have often felt that although relationships were what made life quite meaningful, ironically it was often people that sullied my experience in beautiful cities like Sydney. A harsh word, rejection, bad news or sometimes just loneliness has the capacity to dull our happiness. It occured to me however, that this is a fact of life that will never change. People will always let us down, and perhaps 28 years has started to soften the blow. I thought about the various things that people have said about each other within my extended family - you are either too dirty, or too strict, or too extravagant or too cheap. But we are still family. And amongst friends, we are all still friends. If not friends and family then what else do we have? I have decided that it is best not to zoom in on the specifics of the situation. I have decided to try not to be slighted by the unfair things that are said. To see the relationship between myself and specific people as, perhaps, sullied, or brittle and to treat it with the kid gloves it requires, but to maintain open lines of communication and to send the occassional token of affection. There is nothing else I can do. Nothing I am capable of doing as we all have different standards and different expectations of each other and of life and I will never know what the expectations of others really are. I hope one day the relationships in my life will reach a peaceful equilibrium.

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