Phileosophie

Tonight I turned on my piano for the first time in 2019. I have always wanted the ability to use music as a means of expressing myself - in sadness or in worship. Even though the notes came haltingly today,  it still meant something to me. "I'll never know how much it cost,  to see my sin upon that cross." It often feels like I have lost myself in life's journey. It has been the wildest and grandest adventure , but I know that part of my life is coming to an end. And yet, truth be told, there are many times when I still feel very much alone, in Brisbane, as I was in Sydney, in Kuching or in Tasmania. But of course I would feel this way - I haven't stayed still for long enough, for very much to matter. I've not really committed myself to any place, anyone or anything. It wasn't that I was afraid of being hurt or anything like that, but rather that I just hadn't been at that place in life where one becomes ready to settle into one thing, one person

I was talking to a friend recently about my old passion project and it led me back to this long-forgotten blog. Having spent the past few years scrubbing the internet of my existence (existential crisis you see), I no longer have many online memories of the years gone by. I'm somewhat grateful that this little grotto escaped the wrath of my online cleansing. It was interesting to revisit the memories from 2016. That was a tough time, going through stuff at work, and dealing with the uncertainties of the season. I've come through it fine, and while life's curveballs will keep coming, one thing I know for sure is that God is faithful and His love endures forever. (Ps 136) I am currently living in Brisbane. It is an unexpectedly fabulous place with great weather, wonderful people and a brilliant lifestyle. It is such an unassuming city - I don't know why it took me 33 years to find it, but I like it and hopefully will have the opportunity to stay for a while.