- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
- Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicides.
- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent heaaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- She stated she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
- Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- Examination of genetalia reveals that he is circus-sized.
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- The patient was to havea bowel resection. However. he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
- Skin: somewhat pale but present.
- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ___, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
- Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
- She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.
- Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
- FLK - funny looking kid,
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Humor: Actual Medical Chart Notes
Taken from Idioglossia 2005 - a med magazine from UNSW.
Posted by σοφια at 5:46 AM