And so it goes..

So it's been a remarkably good year, given the circumstances. I've been able to coast through the year unscathed by exams and the lack of a job. However, as we get closer and closer to the end as I know it, closer to unemployment and the prospect of actually leaving the only place I've considered home, I am beginning to oscillate between this 'faith' position that I have been in, and being in denial. I don't want to talk about the internship crisis. I listen politely when others talk about it and I do not get riled up with anger because at this point it is so much easier to pretend that the situation does not bother me, does not involve me. That everything is as it always has been. Did I ever think I would be in this position? No. I never once thought that as a doctor I would be without a job. That security was part of the reason I left economics and finance to join the medical ranks (of course there were so many other reasons as well). What I need now Lord, is the strength to walk the path that you are allowing to happen to me. I need the faith to know that whatever comes next is part of your best plan for me. I need the heart to enjoy the journey. I need the people to walk with. If it is in your will, take this cup from me. I know you will not give me more than I can handle.