God did not author your confusion but he can certainly use it. And it is only when you've been through the confusion, and been through the wilderness, can you really say, the Lord is my Shepherd.
"You don't want your daughter to be like me." I said to my colleague one day. He peered over and replied "Not like you? You're a successful interventional cardiologist." I am indeed, but it has been difficult to exist in this vortex of a world. I feel as though I have climbed to the top of a mountain of skulls and bones. The road has left me weary. I have been running too long and I cannot breathe. When I look behind me, I see broken dreams and brittle relationships. Is that a mirage? I am unable to lose the criticism, insinuations and bullying. Does anybody see this? My world is a battlefield, and I am not sure if I want to be here. I lay in my bed, trying to find peace in the confusion of how I could be so right and yet also so wrong. In the workplace, I have to be assertive, confident, logical, and fundamentally masculine. In life, I must be warm, patient, nurturing and compassionate. It is hard enough to embody one side or the other - but to strive t...
I don't think I will ever be a plastic surgeon. Not because I like plastics any less but because I cannot let cardiology go. Today I started studying cardiology cases for my exams and came across a segment on Brugada syndrome and the ECG patterns that are typical to this condition. I was surprised to see that this condition was discovered and described as recently as 1992 by a family of Spanish Catalan doctors (the Brugada doctors). I love finding 'new' cardiology information because the problem with being so interested in something is that I sometimes run out of novel 'findings' to keep me interested in the field. Lately I have been reading about microvascular dysfunction (related to womens cardiac conditions) and today Brugada ECGs. I think I could do this forever.
This comes from a great video I watched recently. It is linked below and I found it very insightful. There are Four Basic Negative Emotions in all people. - Anger (amygdala) - Disgust (insula) --> something that will hurt you. telling you that you should avoid it. It is biologically directed towards pathogens, but politicians use this to control people. Eg Wuhan virus, or republicans vs democrats - Sadness (dorsal anterior singular cortex) --> stems from losing something or someone you love - Fear (amygdala) Negative does not mean bad. It means these are the things that signal threat to us, from the outside world. Contempt is a combination of two negative emotions - Anger and Disgust When you express contempt / disgust, it is interpreted by the brain of your partner as "you think I'm a pathogen, and I need to be cast out". Even if you dont mean it. So dont roll your eyes, dont be sarcastic. When you are feeling that coldness that comes with Contempt, that is when ...
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