Phileosophie

I was thinking about relationships recently. There's a guy in England, who I think is keen on me. He doesn't know I'm leaving, and I don't know how to tell him. He's fighting his own battles.. trying to decide how much time he can give another person, and I don't know how much I want him to decide to choose me. Because I'm leaving. And choosing me might mean heartbreak. It might require too much from him, too soon. He's a really nice guy.. so I wish I could want to 'win' this situation more. But I don't know. Winning would be hard.   

This comes from a great video I watched recently. It is linked below and I found it very insightful.  There are Four Basic Negative Emotions in all people.  - Anger (amygdala) - Disgust (insula) --> something that will hurt you. telling you that you should avoid it. It is biologically directed towards pathogens, but politicians use this to control people. Eg Wuhan virus, or republicans vs democrats - Sadness (dorsal anterior singular cortex) --> stems from losing something or someone you love - Fear (amygdala) Negative does not mean bad. It means these are the things that signal threat to us, from the outside world. Contempt is a combination of two negative emotions - Anger and Disgust When you express contempt / disgust, it is interpreted by the brain of your partner as "you think I'm a pathogen, and I need to be cast out". Even if you dont mean it. So dont roll your eyes, dont be sarcastic. When you are feeling that coldness that comes with Contempt, that is when ...

"You don't want your daughter to be like me." I said to my colleague one day. He peered over and replied "Not like you? You're a successful interventional cardiologist." I am indeed, but it has been difficult to exist in this vortex that is my world. I feel as though I have climbed to the top of a mountain of skulls and bones. The road has left me weary, as if I have been marathoning through dense, humid air. I look behind me, and it seems like the path is littered with broken dreams and brittle relationships. I am unable to get away from criticism and allegations and bullying. Am I the only one to see this? When I look back on the world, it appears to be a battlefield. What do others see? As I lay in my bed, trying to make peace with the confusion of how I could be so right and yet so wrong, the answer dawned upon me. The traits that people demand of me, as a cardiologist - assertiveness, leadership, confidence, logic - are fundamentally masculine. But the ...