Phileosophie

I don't think I am much suited to the work of a junior doctor. I hate working under administrators who don't know what it is like on the ground. It is so easy to redirect doctors from one team to another, no one is keeping score to check when a doctor becomes over-worked, or if one team is doing more than another because one of them isn't playing 'the game'. I try not to keep patients in hospital longer than they should stay because it isn't good for the patients and it is a waste of the health dollar, but it seems like the more efficient I am, and the more patients get churned through, the more work gets dumped on me because it appears that my workload is lighter (when the patients are no longer inpatients). I hate working with 'hospitalists' whose job it is to help with 'difficult' patients and to try and clear bed spaces. They come to junior doctors, who have little say in a patient's management and repeatedly offer lectures on how we sh

Picking up the pieces. The reality of what I have lost is sinking in. I can only trust that God has a better plan. I have begun to wonder if the choice was truly a matter of God vs Roberto. Perhaps I was too hasty, and perhaps I could have had both. But I believe it is rather too late now. I only hope that no one will be 'relieved' that I am no longer dating Roberto. I can't think of a better man.